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As much as I wish you could, I don’t think you’re going to be able to do much to change a grown man’s worldview And I worry about you angering or alienating someone you depend on for food and shelter, at least for the next few years Start making a plan (in your journal, or the notes app on your phone, or whatever) for what you might say to him when you’re an adult who lives on your own and there’s nothing he can do to harm you Until then, change your focus
Instead of “I want my dad to be more friendly and caring,” your new mantra should be “I want to make sure I don’t become like my dad,” or even “I want to make sure marginalized people aren’t harmed by the views of people like my dad” The fact that his views haven’t shaped yours says a lot about your values and how strong you are Congratulate yourself for that and commit to being as caring and friendly and decent as you wish he would beSerious question: Can you be close to someone who you believe makes terrible choices, without lecturing or shaming her about them? Really give it some thought
Keeping your opinion to yourself is tough to do, but that’s what it will take for you to reestablish a relationship with your cousin If you can’t—if you are still the same person who thinks telling someone to end their pregnancy is a reasonable thing to do—then yes, go ahead and mourn the relationshipHowever, if being cut out of her life has taught you that it’s better to let people make their own mistakes and wait to give advice until you’re asked—if you think you can be a person who makes her feel better, not worse, about her life—then reach out Send a text apologizing for how you spoke to her, saying you love and miss her, and asking if you can try to be close again
At this point, you shouldn’t even focus on wanting to “help” unless you’ve heard directly from her (not from your relatives) about what she needs from you That might include some babysitting, but it’s very likely just friendship and acceptanceTo know me is to know I love being a Mom, and I love talking about my late Mother As I mentioned in my first post, I lost my beloved Mom to cancer 7 years ago, but it still feels like it was just yesterday
Up until the very end of my Mother's battle, I would design protective jewelry (solid gold hamsas, crosses, the Star of David, evil eyes, hearts, a bespoke Solange Azagury script ring with my Mother’s middle name, Faith) with hopes that these talismans would keep her cancer away, keep her with me In the end, nothing could stop the brutal fight she was facing, but I still remember her face lighting up when she opened these little treasures, for a moment there was levity Although considered more of a domestic play, the film is doing well in urban, upscale theaters in key overseas cities, and reviews and positive word of mouth across all markets bode well for the rest of the run The strong digital campaign has seen impact offshore where U
S comedies tend to be favored in Anglo-Saxon markets Perhaps the musical aspect is helping here, as well as giving younger folks a chance to see this take on the big screen after having discovered the original 2004 movie online, and maybe go with their moms for the experienceMy wife grew up eating far healthier than I did—vegetarian, no sweets, the whole nine yards
All the food she cooks is basically just stews of mushy vegetables with some sort of liquid I hate it I feel like a 4-year-old in my petulance, but I wind up just kind of picking at her food listlessly She notices
We’ve divided up the cooking responsibilities and she really enjoys the food I make, but I still hate the food she makes!I have a milestone birthday coming up, and frankly I don’t trust my partner when he says that he will commit to our plans fully I usually live and let live when it comes to how he deals with his daughter, but I don’t want to waste the time, energy, or money here We don’t live together and I respect that his daughter’s needs come first, but this is ridiculous My partner even admits that his daughter is doing this, but he still goes along with it
Should I even bother to try?Hopefully she’ll be out of the house in a year Until then, I think your best bet is to encourage your partner to give his daughter the attention she’s craving on a regular basis, so she feels less territorial and desperate when he plans an evening with you Maybe there’s a new tradition they could create together Maybe he could make an effort to attend more of her sports games, or read the same book she’s reading and discuss it, or train for a half marathon together
Just something to let her know she’ll have access to him on a regular basis And if your partner agrees, perhaps you could try to get a bit closer to her too, so you don’t seem like as much of a threat But until you see a change in behavior, no more dates that require tickets bought in advance You can’t risk it!My partner and I have been together for five years
Without fail on any major event (my birthday, his birthday, Valentine’s, planned couples trip etc), his 17-year-old daughter gets “sick” and needs daddy to wait on her every whim Miraculously, she gets better the next day when she wants to go out with friends We have gotten around this by celebrating on other days and when she is with her mother (which isn’t often)
I was tolerant when she was a child, but it has gotten ridiculous We had concert tickets for his birthday and right on cue, she started to have a headache Rather than stay in a dark room with some aspirin, she wanted her dad to stay home so he could rub her head and read to her My partner went along with it! I ended up going to the concert alone and wasting the other ticket
And if your partner agrees, perhaps you could try to get a bit closer to her too, so you don’t seem like as much of a threat. But until you see a change in behavior, no more dates that require tickets bought in advance. You can’t risk it!My partner and I have been together for five years. Without fail on any major event (my birthday, his birthday, Valentine’s, planned couples trip etc.), his 17-year-old daughter gets “sick” and needs daddy to wait on her every whim. Miraculously, she gets better the next day when she wants to go out with friends. We have gotten around this by celebrating on other days and when she is with her mother (which isn’t often). I was tolerant when she was a child, but it has gotten ridiculous. We had concert tickets for his birthday and right on cue, she started to have a headache. Rather than stay in a dark room with some aspirin, she wanted her dad to stay home so he could rub her head and read to her. My partner went along with it! I ended up going to the concert alone and wasting the other ticket.
